If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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