dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
