i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
