i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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