She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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