hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
