At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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