she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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