Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
