i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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