No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
