No stitches, just platelets and will power
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
