We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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