You made me cry and you don't even care
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
