Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
