Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
