he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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