Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
