I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
