fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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