WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
