I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize