so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Pants are for mortals
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
