Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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