are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
