hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
