I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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