yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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