I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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