I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
