oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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