absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
