Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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