i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
