my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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