im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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