Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
