so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
sex in a hospital.. check
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize