I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize