you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
you made out with another girl for some wings
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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