Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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