my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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