I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
farters have to be the big spoon...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
