We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
