I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
