I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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