i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
