hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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