which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
foreskin is a definite game changer
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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