I got chris browned last night
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
