Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
