Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
