his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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