Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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