I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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