no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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