Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
how drunk are you?
Several
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize